Monday, March 07, 2011

Cupid goes online...

Just as I had written about love and its colleagues being butchered by grammar, Cupid rushed to establish himself online. My friend had sent a link to one of those dating sites on the Net, whose Home Page had a Live Feed on the latest one-liners posted by people asking for a partner. The point in his forwarding it and hence of this article, is to bring to spotlight the inventive, innovative and supposedly wacky introductory statements that people use to “break the i.”, if that’s the aim. Most of them are true ROTFL material, more so when they are read with a tinge of interpretation from the reader’s end. The best specimens have been isolated for the below analysis.

1) “Does writing her that you need a girl, ever work, i doubt it.”

Paradoxical, for if the person who wrote this meant it, he wouldn’t have wasted time posting it in a dating site. Second, he has answered himself that “he doubts it”, which made the purpose of the post all the more redundant. Realistically, the only reply our pal received was from an Online Merchandise store, which said “we accept Paypal too”!

2) “I am travelling to Kolkata and Bareilly next week. Will be in Bareilly in the second week of March. The place is new to me and I need company for two weeks”

He does Toyota proud, going about “Just-In-Time” with relationships. Hell with the partner in the fourth week of March, for the Bareilly precondition then stands violated.

3) This is mumbai (location noted, next?), all females and males are very busy taking care of their job or housework (Poor them!). At the same time, we need to have some friends (oh, the pitch) so that as and when we have little time to spare, we can chat, meet to discuss various issues (the politburo of every party sure is waiting for this to get over) or may like to have some advise, and to have good time outing for a short while (please note the time period, it’s for a while).

4) “Hai im 27yrs from mumbai...” – Hmmm, nice alphanumeric name you’ve got!

5) Now for the winner. The second is but second by a long, long way. Please, please note - what follows is long poetry, and hence requires running commentary. What’s written below in parentheses is mine own, and the rest belongs to him who wants to date.

“First of all let me tell you clear this is not any relationship issue or Just for Men or Just for Women and certainly not a Dating tip issue (To sum up, this is not an issue at all! The aim is to make it sound out of the ordinary. He assures you that what follows is anything but cliched). I just wanted to start something HutKe (kahaan ke?!) from regular topic. Second who feel themself as moderators and just brag and complain saying that this topic does not belong to this group please hold on (Yeah, moderators. Beware. The topic does not belong here, but act as if you weren’t aware). This just to have some thoughts and views of other people. (the point, please!). Now, coming to the issue (finally). If you make a MOVIE based on true story and that true story is YOUR LIFE what will be the title of the movie (huh?! Moderators, behold!). The movie can be in any language (people from all over India can apply). I would appreciate if it is not English please give the title in your language and also meaning of it (...but why?). I also appreciate if you keep some high level English words please give meaning. If I make a movie the title will be "WALKING ALONE...” Now there! The moderators, the would-be partners and readers are all stunned. This was a valiant attempt at dramatising the request for a partner! And the killer title for his autobiography demands an encore, applause, whistles, bells and more... And yeah, a partner!

More specimens were left out keeping in view the “greater good of mankind”...


Aplomb in me.. said...

I am 24yrs from Chennai.. Any one reading this blog can contact me through the owner of blog!!

itsdifficulttoblog said...

Hai!! i am 24yrs from Mumbai :) :)
Superb subbu!!! Inspite of being DEAD, you have managed to write so well...Your soul's doing a good job in some drummer's body!!! :)

vacko said...

did u change your name??? how else will u get a partner???